


No Bigger than a Pebble

by deltadawn1205



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Eventual Fluff, F/M, Tiny Angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-20
Updated: 2017-07-27
Packaged: 2018-08-09 18:54:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,931
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7813309
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deltadawn1205/pseuds/deltadawn1205
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rosemary Lavellan wasn't one for romance or sugary gestures. But when one night with a certain dwarf causes trouble, she has to figure out where her priorities are. And is the middle of the war really a great time to be doing this?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Pebbles

“Dorian” The warm, very female voice was muffled by expensive fabric as the Inquisitor’s small arms came around him to hug him tightly from behind. A bandage was wrapped around one of her slender, pale hands as it moved to fish into the small pocket in his vest.

He grabbed her hand to stop her with a chuckle. “Now, Inquisitor, keep your lovely hands to yourself. Wouldn’t want you to be seen molesting the Tevinter in the shadows of the library would we?” With a smirk he turned to get a look at her. She had obviously only just arrived at Skyhold, if the multiple layers of dirt and grime had anything to say about it. The forests might have been where she felt most at home, but it was reassuring to see that even she was not immune to the mud and rain dimming her coppery hair to almost brown. He’d admit to jealousy, when the rest of them are tired and sweating and she’d be climbing up onto some high rock, practically glowing in the fresh air and sunlight. “Darling, you look lovely as always.”

She smiled, her green eyes brightening despite the dark circles that meant a long ride back. “And you are an excellent liar, lethallin.”

“I do try. Would you prefer the truth? You, Rosemary, look like you need a nice bath, a nice bed, and a nice man in that order.”

She laughed. “Well… I’ll take the first two, you can keep the last.”

“How selfless of you.” He leaned against the wall next to the bookcase and watched her. “I can’t have all the men, no matter how big my ego. At least half have their eyes on you when you walk by.”

“Don’t exaggerate, it doesn’t suit you.”

“Posh, it suits me just fine, but about this I’d never exaggerate. Shall I name them? Make a list?” She gave him a look. “Cullen, Jim, Solas, Blackwall, at least half of our soldiers, a few of the servants.”

“Dorian!” She shook her head and made a face. “I’ll come visit after I’ve gotten some sleep.” With that, she turned and made her way back to the stairs.

“Oh, I almost forgot,” She paused like he knew she would, and he went to her. Reaching into the small pocket, he pulled out the little stone and placed it in her hand, “To add our own resident dwarf to the list.”

“You’re impossible.” She left him to return to his books. Not wishing to disturb Solas, she went down the other stairway and went up to her tower, where Josephine had promised to have a hot bath waiting for her. True to her word, a brass tub waited, steam rolling off the water. She would have to remember to find a nice present for Josephine, she was always looking out for her in her own way.

She undressed and climbed into the tub. Her muscles practically melted as they sunk into the water. Dorian was absolutely ridiculous when he wanted to be. Couldn’t take their eyes off her? Off what? She wasn’t like Leliana or Josephine, she didn’t have female wiles. Any softness clan life might have afforded her had been hardened by trekking the countryside in the name of the Inquisition. She let out a sigh and dipped down to soak her hair. Absolutely ridiculous.

She picked the stone up from where she’d set it on the brim of the tub and looked at it. It was silly really, she should have just taken it with her. Or left it here in her room. It was a stone, nothing more than a smooth tan stone no bigger than the palm of her hand. But she’d left it with Dorian. It had made so much sense at the time really. They were going to the Hinterlands, what if it had fallen out of her bag or her pocket. She would have never been able to tell it apart from all the other rocks. But… she couldn’t leave it here. Not that she didn’t trust the people in Skyhold, but Leliana had a habit of inviting herself in to drop reports on her desk. And while she didn’t quite believe all the rumors about Leliana’s talents, she didn’t doubt her Spymaster’s curiosity would get the better of her. That shouldn’t even bother her, it was just a small rock that a friend had given her. Dorian was ridiculous.

Once she was sufficiently clean and the bath had cooled, she dried off and slipped into shift before collapsing into bed for the night. The stone was placed under it’s usual spot under her pillow. It would stay there and help her dreams, in its own way, as its presence filled her mind with a warm smile and a broken nose.

* * * * * *

There were still stars in the sky when Rosemary opened her eyes to dark shadow looming over her. Before she could form words, a mouth was on hers, hungry and desperate. The spice of whiskey touched her tastebuds and when she reached up to push the intruder away, her fingers inexplicably curled against the chest hair they came in contact with. In the back of her mind she knew she’d feel sad and empty when she woke up in the morning, but for now she’d enjoy the dream.

His calloused fingers cupped her chin, pulling her mouth closer to explore the taste of her before letting go to trace the shape of her body through the thin shift. Heat clouded the rest of her thoughts as she helped him out of his shirt, the view hitching a breath in her throat. Maybe it was the moonlight, maybe it was her imagination, or more likely it was the dream playing with her mind, but Maker, he was perfect. As if a sculptor had worked for ages to perfect him, muscled but not so much that there wasn’t a softness about him. Watching him ignited another warmth, lower and much more dangerous.

“Rosemary…” He sounded so far away even as she pulled him back down for another kiss, his hands already working to pull the shift over her head.

The night breeze from the balcony windows was cool in contrast to the heat of his hands, her modesty all but forgotten.

* * * * * *

The smell of man stirred her from her sleep, sunlight already pouring in from the open balcony doors. Her first instinct was to curl into the warm body under her and refuse to wake up. When he shifted slightly in his own sleep, she froze. She’d gone to bed alone last night, she distinctly remembered falling into bed after her bath and… yeah, she’d been alone, and she’d dreamed such wonderful… oh no. Ever graceful, she flailed to get off of him and landed firmly on the stone brick of the floor. The thud startled Varric into sitting up and shielding his eyes from the light.

“Blasted Andraste, who opened a window?” At the volume of his own voice he groaned and moved to hold his head instead. “Shoulda drank more water. Where are my damn pants?”

Rosemary peeked over the edge of the bed and tossed him his pants as casually as she could.

“The-” He looked at his pants, and really looked around the room for the first time. “Shit…” She could see the dread in his eyes as he caught sight of his shirt and her shift together in a pile on the floor. “Shit.” She went to say something, anything at this point really, but he was already up and out the door, tugging on his clothes as he practically ran down the stairs. As the first door slammed shut, hot tears sprung to her eyes. Stupid really, to have hoped for even a second as she’d sat there on the floor that this was anything more than a mistake on either of their parts. But if she was to climb back into bed and stay there feeling sorry for herself until the scent of him had passed, then who was going to know.


	2. the Nightingale's Aid

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leliana gives Rosemary a push out the door

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HI! 
> 
> 1)So sorry for the delayed update! I am currently working 2 jobs and this is a very busy season for both of them. I'm literally writing this little bits at a time on post it notes I steal at work. Sorry! I'll try to be faster with the next chapter!
> 
> 2) Also, sorry that this chapter is kind of crap, just warning you in advance!
> 
> 3) Is Varric blonde, strawberry blonde, or a redhead? because every time I look at him I see something a little different. Anyway, I might have described his hair as red in the last chapter, but if that's not right, chock it up to interpretation :)
> 
>  
> 
> Also! thanks for being awesome!

Who was going to know? Well, everyone apparently, but worse, that included Leliana. Maybe it was just Leliana. Sometimes Rosemary had a difficult time telling what Leliana had spotted herself and what her spies reported to her. Maybe they were one in the same. Either way, as it drew closer to noon, the blankets were pulled off of the bed, despite her protests. “Inquisitor, we have been waiting all day to meet with you. There is important business to discuss.”

“Leliana…” She looked over her friend, too sapped to even pretend for her. “There is always important business to discuss. I can’t do it today.”

“You don’t have a choice. None of us can afford the luxury of a day off.” She opened a drawer and tossed some trousers and a loose shirt at Rosemary. “It is time you eat and stop making us wait.”

“Leliana…” She repeated, but Leliana was already impatiently helping her with her shirt. Apparently she wasn’t getting out of this, even if Leliana had to dress her herself and throw her off the balcony. The balcony… He’d gone over the balcony so suddenly. The look in his eyes… She wiped her face with her sleeve in an attempt to keep her own eyes from misting.

A slender hand rested on her shoulder after she had pulled on her pants and a vest, tucking the stone in it’s pocket, Leliana watching her with a tenderness that she hadn’t expected. “Come, let us go down to the mid-day meal. Everything seems better with fresh clothes and food in your belly.”

And well, Rosemary had no argument for logic like that. So she let Leliana take her hand and lead her out of the room to the main hall. 

When she first got to Haven, she had gone through a bit of culture shock, as was to be expected. She’d never really lived among the humans before, let alone a group of humans that were so divided and so solitary from each other. In her clan, they did everything in community. They hunted in groups, they slept near each other, they learned together, they ate together, both out of necessity and because it felt right. 

But the people of Haven were hurting, and the leaders so busy, they all ate in silence in their own little corners of their too-small shared space. She had tried sitting by where they worked while she ate, her presence only seemed to make them uneasy. Now she recognized it as simply that they had yet to trust her, and why would they? They barely knew each other. Cassandra had been the most uncomfortable, while Leliana had been almost condescendingly patient. 

She had started dreading being back in Haven and was going back out on expedition only an hour or two after she left. On expeditions, they had no choice but to eat together. How embarrassing, to be elevated as blessed and to be weakened by something as ridiculous as loneliness. 

Then… Varric… Well, that first time he told her to sit down and eat stew with him during mid-day, something in her began to stitch itself back together. First it was just the two of them, then a couple days later he talked Solas into joining them. Within a couple weeks, Cullen, Leliana, Cassandra, and Josephine were taking their mid-day meals around Varric’s fire as well.

Since then their company has grown, Haven was destroyed, and their lives at Skyhold have become busier than ever. However, unless they had something more pressing, most of them still gathered for that one meal each day. This was the one day she hoped more than anything that she could have eaten alone, or that at least some specific people had plans for during the mid-day meal. 

At one of the banquet tables in the main hall, Cole was sitting on the edge of the table, listening to Solas explain something with a patience that could only be a result of constant discourse with the spirit. Blackwall sat with his back to the majority of the group, taking this time to clean the hilt of his sword with the polishing cloth he kept on him while listening to the discussions behind him. Cassandra seemed entirely dine with where ever the conversation had gone, her arm slumped against the table as she ate her soup with so much focus it was a wonder it didn't run away under her gaze. Varric tossed a piece of bread at Krem, the only charger besides Iron Bull that tended to join in on the insanity. 

Krem said something obscene and Leliana, in her paradoxical purity, hushed him and drew unnecessary attention to their arrival. Most of them murmured some form of greeting before returning to their conversations. Varric’s eyes met hers for a long moment before looking at Leliana and returned to his back and forth with Krem.

Her chest tightened. So that was it then. It hadn’t meant anything to him after all. What had she expected to happen? He’d have thought it over and decided he was passionately in love with her? Falling into bed with a woman after a night at the tavern probably wasn’t that unusual for him. Well… if he wanted to pretend nothing happened then she wouldn’t be the one to cause trouble.

Cole gave her a questioning look so she placed her hand on his shoulder and sat down in the chair next to him, trying to communicate that this wasn’t the time to voice his questions about her thoughts. With a smile she looked at Solas, who had stopped his sentence to eat a bit more of his own soup before it grew cold. “So what are we talking about?”

“Ah, Inquisitor,” He leaned toward them, eager to have another mage who might have input. “I was just discussing with young Cole here why it would be impossible and possibly quite dangerous to teach someone how to step in and out of this plain of existence such as he does.”

“Dangerous, yes” She paused to offer thanks to the servant who’d set down some bread and soup in front of her. “But I wouldn’t venture as far as to say impossible.”

“You wouldn’t?” Cole perked up a little “If I could teach people to avoid getting stabbed, that would be helpful I would be helpful before there was a problem.”

“Well it wouldn’t be easy, by any means. First we’d have to figure out where you go, then we’d…” For the next hour they discussed the possibility of experimenting with Cole’s abilities, distracting her from the troubles on her mind.

From there it was a few hours in the war room, preparing for their next expedition and discussing the larger complications in their preparations for the winter palace. It was mid afternoon and she was enjoying the fresh air in the courtyard. Sitting on a bench near the gardeners, she closed her eyes and just enjoyed the breeze that brushed through her hair. Heavy footsteps stopped their tracks next to her and she opened her eyes.

Cassandra shifted nervously. “Inquisitor. Am I disturbing you?”

“Not at all, Cassandra, what can I do for you?”

“Why do you assume I want you to do something?”

Rosemary raised her eyebrows. “This is the time of day you’re usually practicing on the dummies, yes?”

Cassandra sighed. “Very well, I had wished to approach this more delicately. However, I do want something. I need you to deliver something for me.”

“That sounds easy enough and I’ve got nothing better to do,” Rosemary smirked. “What is it I’m delivering?” 

Cassandra held out a book. “It’s for Varric. It’s the chapter of swords and shields you got a hold of for me. He said it still needed editing, and it would be selfish of me to not return it so it can be shared with the rest of his fans. Please. I can’t return it myself, it’s embarassing.”

“Oh” She took the book and looked at it for a moment. “I, uh, I suppose I could do that.”

“Thank you.” She turned on her heel and left the courtyard.

Rosemary watched the book for a few minutes. Right about now, Varric usually spent some time answering letters by the fire. It wouldn’t be hard to take the book to him. Maybe she wouldn’t even have to speak to him, just set it down next to him and leave. This didn’t have to be awkward.

Right. She stood up and went back into the hall. Inside, across the way, he was standing by his chair talking quietly with Leliana. Whatever was said, they were both clearly tense. She watched for a moment, not wanting to appear like she was eavesdropping if she tried to drop the book off and run now. Leliana turned to look at her before heading back through the library. It was now or never.

“Varric, I came to-”

“First Leliana gets after me, now you. What do you want from me?”

“W-what?”

“My silence? That’s it, isn’t it. You came to buy my silence. Can’t let anyone hear that the high and mighty Inquisitor found herself between the sheets with a lowly dwarf.” His eyes burned into hers, tense, oddly angry.

“Varric…” Wait… what?

“Don’t worry about me, my lips are sealed.” There was an uncomfortable long pause before his eyes left hers. “For a price.”

“A… price?”

“I need that stone I gave you back. It’s Bianca’s, she’ll be looking for it.”

“It’s… Bianca’s.” Her charm, that small token she carried with her when her heart was heavy and protected like a precious gem. It belonged to not just any other woman, but the woman she would never be competition for. This whole time, how could she have been so foolish? 

“Are you going to repeat what I say or are you going to give it back before I let it slip how bad you are in the sack to the boys in the tavern?”

“If she’d thought about it, if she’d have had the capacity to do anything but feel the words like a punch to the gut, she would have yelled, slapped him, threw i at his face, anything. Instead, in shattered silence, she reached into the pocket of her vest and pulled out the pebble, dropping it into his hand.

“Pleasure doing business with you.” If he saw the tears threatening to leave lines down her face, he said nothing, just turned his back and sat down to answer more letters.

“I-I… I just….” She swallowed and straightened her back, putting on her best Leliana poker face. With more force than necessary, she dropped the book onto the table next to him. “Cassandra wanted me to give this to you. She thought you might want it for publishing.”

She turned and started toward her tower, coming to a harsh jolt when Varric’s hand reached out to grab her arm tightly. “You… were delivering a book for Cassandra.”

She removed her arm from his grasp, refusing to make eye contact. “Are you going to repeat what I say?”

“Wait, Rosemary…” But she was already gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you thought! Thanks for reading! :)


	3. Hissing Wastes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rosemary's party goes out on a seven week expedition to the Hissing Wastes and not much happens, but things are happening?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, this one wasn't a whole month!   
> Although, I've had this one written on paper since the day after the last chapter, oops. 
> 
> Also, compared to the others, this chapter is twice as long! I would have broken it down into two chapters but we're finally getting to the point where the story really picks up! :) 
> 
> Finally! I can't even tell you how much I appreciate the comments that have been left! I won't lie, comments definitely inspire me to write a little faster (that sounds like I'm begging for comments, but no really, I occasionally forget to write when I have time and comments totally remind me to do that) and it's great hearing what you think!!
> 
> Okay, I'm done now, enjoy!

Two days and many rescheduled meetings later, Rosemary was stuffing the last pieces of equipment into a saddle bag and mentally checking off her list as she went.

 

“Alrighty,” Sera was leaning on a fence post, enjoying the last bits of her apple loudly. “Let’s pretend I get why you’re not taking chest hair over there with you. But the demon? Really? An’ who’s gonna watch your back against him, yeah?”

 

“He’s not a demon, Sera.” Rosemary gave her a look before pulling herself up onto the War Nug. Horses were fine most of the time she supposed, but she liked the sturdiness of her trusty nug. Especially for traveling up and down the mountain roads. You never knew when steady footing might be all the kept you from a bitter end. “He’s just Cole.”

 

And that’s supposed to mean somethin’ to me I suppose? He’s creepy and weird and I don’t like it. At least let me go with you, you know, keep an eye on him for you.”

 

“Sera, you know I’d indulge you any other day.” She ignored the indignant noise Sera made. “But there’s multiple reports of dragons in the area. I need people who can take a bit more of a hit. I’m sorry.”

 

“I can take a bloody hit!” Sera tossed the apple core on the ground the way a two year old would refuse their vegetables. “I’m coming with you.”

 

“I’ve already made up my mind.” Rosemary signed, looking around the lower courtyard. There were a few people gathered: her advisors, her companions already saddled up and ready to leave, a couple of agents checking off various lists of their own, and Varric leaning against the stone wall next to his mount’s stall, face in a carefully neutral expression. She had to get out of here. “Look, I happen to know there will be plenty of stuff to entertain you after I leave. Leliana, for one, needs help with a Red Jenny matter. That should keep your hands full for at least a week.”

 

“A week?! You better have your pretty arse back here by then or I’m comin in after you!” Sera practically shrieked from behind her as she joined her mounted companions at Skyhold’s main gate. 

 

Their expedition took that full week to actually reach the Hissing Wastes. Tricky landscapes and delays at various scouting camps contributed to their long journey. That had been the point of this trip though, to go to where it would be difficult to reach on short notice and assess the situation in those areas. Once they made camp in the Hissing Wastes, she found the time to write to Sera and tell her that no, Cole hasn’t killed her yet, stop freaking out. She just hoped by time the crow delivered her note, Sera hadn’t already tried to make good on her threat to follow them. 

 

It took another week before they even began to see a dent in their adversaries. If she had to guess, she’d assume Venatori and Red Templars just kind of began sprouting from the ground whenever they sensed the Inquisition was near. That seemed like the only reasonable explanation for why there were always an abundance of them, despite their efficient disposal of them. Worse, while the terrain may have just been vast amounts of sand and emptiness relatively easily covered by horseback and patience, the wildlife had more teeth than they had anticipated starting out. 

 

Middle of that week, Rosemary picked up the beginnings of an unfortunate stomach bug. This wasn’t the first time, in fact it wasn’t even that unusual for them. Roasting meat over a campfire wasn’t an exact science and slip ups happened from time to time. Once, the whole party was rendered vomiting and incapable of leaving their camp for days. Who could have known spotted deepstalkers were poisonous when ingested? Especially when the striped ones tasted so good! That week had bonded the small group in ways the rest of the inquisition wouldn’t have been able to understand. As effective as it was, no way were they suggesting that as a training exercise for any of them. As it was, Dorian hadn’t spoken to Iron Bull, who’d drawn the short straw on cooking that night, for the rest of their journey. 

 

So she rode out the nausea whenever it hit her, knowing the illness would pass when it was sufficiently ready. These things took their own time and there was no rushing recovery out here. She took to only eating what she absolutely needed to in the mornings, much to Cole's concern. This occupied her mind for the most part for a couple more weeks as they cleaned out the Venatori and solved the weird puzzles the dwarves had left among the sand dunes.

 

As Sera’s, and soon Leliana’s, letters of concern came to her every few days, she found herself growing irritable more often at their well meaning pushing. Did Sera not think she could handle herself? Even if Cole was a threat, which he very much wasn’t, it’s not like handling a demon was something outside her normal day to day life. And Leliana… well she knew she had what she thought were her best interests at heart. But her insistence on informing her in every letter of the comings and goings of their friends was getting to be too much. Why should she care if Josephine caught Sera and Dagna making out in some back corner, Cullen couldn’t stop working for two bloody seconds, Solas finished a new section on the wall, or Varric had seemingly done nothing but brood and drink in the weeks they had been gone. If she was coming home soon, sure, but they had not even scheduled a return. There was nothing she could do except maybe send a letter reprimanding Cullen to take it easy until she returned. It was useless information to fill her brain with and to remind her of fresh hurts. 

 

It was these thoughts that kept her distracted on the day they went on a hunt for some missing soldiers. If she had been paying attention, she would have noticed the rock that her foot caught on. Her ankle twisted at an odd angle and she would have fallen straight on her face had the Iron Bull not been paying attention. His arm came around her waist and steadied her. “Easy there, Boss.”

 

“Thanks, Bull.” She collected herself and continued on their way.

 

“Don’t mention it. Just try to watch where you’re going, hmm. I dunno if I’ll be able to hold up the extra weight you’re packin’. Seriously, Boss, we may have to cut back the muscle building exercises if this is gonna become a pattern.”

 

“Bull!” Next to Cole, Dorian laughed loudly as Rosemary glared at the Qunari. “I’m just saying.” He was laughing too. She sulked until cole tried to make her feel better. Then she played nice and let him believe he’d helped. 

 

Things were quiet leading up to their last scheduled week in the hissing wastes. In celebration of their victory, it was typical for the party to open a bottle of whatever they’d found along the way and toast a goodbye to all of the places they’d been. It was cathartic and an excellent way to get all their feelings about the weather, the wildlife, or whatever crap a place had off their chest.

 

However, when Rosemary emerged from her tent that evening, just the Iron Bull was sitting by the fire, watching it, and by his body language she could tell he wasn’t merely sitting. He was… waiting. “Bull, where are the others? Did they go for more wood? We really don’t need much more than we’ve got if we’re leaving soon. Right?”

 

“Sit down, Boss, take a load off. They’ll be back soon.” She did as she was told and was rewarded with a warm metal cup. Experimentally, she took a taste. It was tea, definitely steeped elfroot. But it was different than she’d expected. There was no aftertaste, no strong kick she’d become to expect from a drink handed to her by her friend. For once, there was no alcohol, it was just …. Tea. 

 

“You feeling alright, Bull?” She took another sip, her constantly unhappy stomach settling for at least the moment at the soothing mixture.

 

“Very funny, Boss. See if I do something nice for you again” He smirked a little but shook his head when she offered him the cup back. “Tea’s not really my thing.”

 

“No, dragons and booze, that’s your thing. I rely on you for that thing. This is…” What was it exactly? “Weird”

 

“Yeah? How’s the sickness feeling then?”

 

“I’ll admit, it feels better.” She watched the cup. “Like I might be able to actually hold down dinner tonight.”

 

“Damn persistent bug, isn’t it.” He was watching her, she could feel it. “I know you, usually three days, tops.”

 

“Yeah well, maybe I’m allergic to something all the damn critters around here eat. I don’t know. It’ll clear up when we get out of here and back to civilization.”  
“Mhmm, you’re probably right. Gotta hand it to you though, it’s pretty incredible that you’ve been able to bulk up while you’re so sick. You know, I certainly don’t mind curvy women.” He attempted what she assumed was supposed to be a wink, but came off more as evasive.

 

“I’m not gaining weight, Bull, cut that out before Dorian starts believing your lies.” She took another drink, her stomach churning worse again by the second as he stared into her, dissected her.

 

“You know what else is interesting? We have been here seven weeks, and I’ve yet to smell blood on you outside of a fight. Think the food’s doing that?” She opened her mouth to argue. “Ben-Hassrath, remember? We notice these things.”

 

“Maker damn you, Bull! Stop trying to scare me.” She shoved the drink back into his hands. “What you’re trying to imply isn’t a joke, and there’s nothing funny about it.”

 

“Boss, listen, we’ve been here seven weeks, right? And it’s been nine since Varric fell out of your bedroom window. It’s not a big secret. Or maybe it is, but you know…”

 

“Yeah, Ben-Hassrath, blah blah, go on…”

 

“Look, now, I’m not saying I know all of your business. But you have to realize how it adds up. Besides, Varric’s got a relatively loose tongue when he’s still half asleep. 

 

“I-It’s not that I don’t get what you’re saying.” Her hands were trembling and she was tempted to hide them under her legs like a dirty secret. “B-but yo-you’re wrong.” She wasn’t…. She couldn’t be…

 

“Am I?” He raised his eyebrows. “Really?”

 

“W-we… I c-can’t…” Her chest tightened, it was getting hard to breath. “We…. I….” It would ruin everything. There was no nice way to say it but that didn’t stop it from being the truth. Varric and herself were barely even talking, let alone… And the Inquisition… What would happen to their reputation if she, their blasted holy figure, their chosen martyr for lack of a better definition, was knocked up and very unwed. And she couldn’t tell them who the father was… not after he so forcefully bartered his silence. Not to mention her lifestyle… oh Andraste, she was in no position to raise a baby! She couldn’t even promise to live through next week! She couldn’t just stay in Skyhold for months waiting to give birth either, there were people who needed her and there was no way Corypheus was going to wait around politely before making a move. She began to feel a bit lightheaded just thinking about the possibility as a sob escaped her throat, just one out of nowhere into the darkness. She couldn’t catch her breath, it was all too much. 

 

Bull put his hand on her head and began to take dramatic, slow breathes. He never took his eyes off hers as she tried to match his movements. Slowly the tightness in her chest let up with each shaky breath.

 

“There ain’t no point in worrying about it, Boss. If you are, you’ll handle it. If you’re not, you’ll handle that too. But you gotta remember. You’re not handling it alone. Whether the dwarf needs a kick or not, the Iron Bull is with you.”

 

“As am I.” Dorian sat on the log on the other side of Rosemary. “Never one to miss a party, you know.”

 

She laughed, watery, uncertain, and brief. He wrapped his arms around her and she melted into the warmth of the hug, more tired and drained than she’d realized she’d been. Whether from this conversation, the tea, or just an effect of this expedition she didn’t know. Iron Bull’s arms wrapped around the both of them, cocooning her as she was even too tired to keep the tears at bay now.

 

“It’s all good, Boss. Get it out. Tomorrow is coming.”

 

There was a quiet sound as Cole appeared in front of them and kneeled in front of her curiously. “Can I help? Let me help you, your thoughts are so loud tonight.”

 

Rosemary reached out to take his hand, holding it tightly in hers. “You always help, Cole. But I don’t think this is something you can fix.”

 

“You are scared.” He nodded, watching their hands. “Afraid of yourself. Afraid of them. Of what they’ll do. Afraid they’ll lock you away like a secret. Or that they’ll sell you off. You thought you were safe from being sold with your friends, but you’re afraid of their fear. They’ll give you to the highest bidder, the nobleman who offers them the most influence, to protect what they’ve worked for.”

 

“I’d like to see them try.” Iron Bull’s arms tightened more securely around them. “They’d have to fight off the Chargers first. Especially Krem. Actually, pretty sure he’d just marry you first before he let some stranger take you. That’s what you get for brainwashing my people, Boss.”

 

She tried to laugh, it sounded strange and out of place.

 

Cole continued to watch their hands. “That’s not like Varric, you know. Hes gentle. The words in your head aren’t his either.”

 

“Cole.” Her grip on his hand tightened. “You can’t breathe a word of this to him, please. Promise me.”

 

Dorian waves his hand dismissively before Cole could say anything either way. “No one’s telling anyone anything yet. We don’t even know for certain yet that Bull’s not just jumping the gun.” 

 

Rosemary nodded and allowed herself to set her head on Dorian, watching the fire. Cole let go of her hand but turned to sit with his back against her legs, also focusing on the fire before them. Bull’s words settled into her soul as she stayed surrounded by the men who’s back she’d watched in the face of certain death, and who she knew without a doubt would have her back tomorrow and the next day. No matter what came tomorrow, she wasn’t alone in this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It got surprisingly fluffy toward the end :) Varric will start appearing again soon, but I really just like fluffy platonic relationships, so bear with me :)
> 
> Anyway! thanks for reading! Let me know what you think :D


	4. A Rocky Return

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TWO THINGS! 
> 
> 1) I keep forgetting to mention this but YOU GUYS ARE GREAT! THANKS FOR THE REVIEWS, also this story starts roughly somewhere after adamant but before the winter palace if you were wondering
> 
> 2) Omg you must hate me by now. Please don't hate me! I'm not trying to make excuses, but I will just let you know a couple of reasons why this chapter took so flipping long to write.
> 
> The first reason is really simple, I had to force myself to stop playing DA:I for a couple of months. No exaggeration, up until recently I played this game practically every day for at least five months. Not necessarily all day every day, but every day. So I forced myself to take a break, unfortunately that meant that my inspiration for writing this dried up along the way. To keep a long story as short as can be, I started playing again last week and am already back in hook line and sinker.
> 
> Which leads to reason 2, .... I wrote myself into a corner by accident. I knew where I wanted to go with the story, but with where I left the last chapter, I had no idea how to get it there. This involved two very different versions of this chapter, one of which was literally just a grumpy Inquisitor in the back of a wagon THE ENTIRE CHAPTER. There are also 4 different versions of the scene by the staircase because I couldn't decide who should follow her. So I got a little stuck. ... But 20 STOLEN POST IT NOTES LATER! we're unstuck! I hope!
> 
> TL;DR: I suck, I stopped playing for a bit, Please don't hate me

They rode into Skyhold only five days later, the cool mountain air a welcome change from the constant dry heat of the desert. Rosemary sat, arms crossed and grumpy, next to Cole in the cart Iron Bull had insisted on procuring. He lead her war nug, as she was apparently so breakable she couldn’t handle her own mount. Her sulking didn’t even come to an end when one of the soldiers helped her out and onto solid ground.

A crowd of eager people had surrounded the cart, to greet the returning Inquisitor. Leliana stood among them and eyed Rosemary for a long moment before throwing a look at Dorian and the Iron Bull, still atop their mounts and tossing barbless insults back and forth. The Bull made eye contact and just shook his head. “It wasn’t me. Boss’s just been in a mood. Don’t ask.”

Dorian nodded before smirking, “It wouldn’t have anything to do with you refusing to stop at any of the Inquisition camps along the road or threatening to leave her if she climbed out, would it now.”

“Got us home, didn’t I. In six days, at that. Pay up.” 

Leliana rolled her eyes as Dorian tossed him a coin. “It was almost worth the constant death glares. I’ve got sand in places I didn’t know sand could get.”

Rosemary stretched the kinks out of her back before walking over to hold out a scroll to Leliana. “Harding had this report for you. I’d have sent it by ravens. But I’m sure you’ve heard by now…”

“I take it the Iron Bull is not a fan of meeting the men.” Leliana sounded like she was fighting back the urge to smile. 

“The Iron Bull,” Rosemary took the opportunity to narrow her eyes at him, “ran out of alcohol. What did I miss?” 

Before Leliana could answer, “Oi! What do you think you’re doing?!” Rosemary turned and looked around, but didn’t see Sera in the crowd despite her very recognizable voice. She raised her eyebrows and turned back to ask Leliana again. An arrow whizzed by her cheek and stuck into the ground mere inches from her toes.

She eyed the arrow for a moment before looking up where Sera was perched in the window of the guard tower. “You know,” She raised her voice to be heard above the crowd, “One of these days you’ll miss and hit me. An Inquisitor with only one foot, what will people say?”

“You’re a mage, ain’t ya. Not like you need both feet to wave a stick around.” She leaned on the window frame, her leg dangling out in the open air. 

Rosemary set her hand on her hip. “I bet that’d give Corypheus pause, the mighty Inquisitor hopping toward him like a common bunny.”

“Yeah!” Sera laughed, loud and sharp. “We’ll get you a good set of ears and when he’s doublin’ over in laughter, I’ll stick him right in the noggin. Or maybe right in the… wait, no, don’t make me laugh. I’m mad at you!” She readied another arrow. 

“Yes, I can see that. Why?”

“Inquisitor. Maybe this isn’t the best place for a shouting match.” Leliana’s hushed voice reminded her. When she dropped her gaze from Sera, she found that everyone who had surrounded them had stopped their flurry of conversation to watch the two of them with interest.

“You’re right, Leliana. My apologies.” She nodded.

“Think nothing of it. But if I may, Josephine is rather anxious to speak with you.”

“Oh? Already?”

“I believe a shipment of dresses arrived from Val Royeux a day or two ago. Something about needing time to arrange proper tailoring.”

“Oh look at that.” Rosemary made a face. “I suddenly remembered I promised to buy the first round at the tavern. 

“No you didn’t.” Iron Bull scoffed. “That I would remember.”

“... and I really can’t keep them waiting.” She ignored him. 

“Nonsense.” Dorian wrapped his arm around her waist, practically pushing her out of the crowd toward the castle. “I’ll even come with you. Maker knows, with your fashion sense, you’re going to need my input.”

Leliana walked along next to them, chuckling to herself. “Do not fret, Rosemary, I don’t believe anyone has ever died trying on a few dresses.”

“There’s a first for everything, you know.” I could be stabbed with a needle or strangled with my own corset.”

“Suffocated by a corset?” Leliana laughed outright this time. “What an imagination you have. I will have to remember that, should the need arise.”

Rosemary shot her a look. “You’re absolutely chilling, you know that, right?”  
Leliana just laughed and quickened her pace up the stone stairs. 

“She knows.” Dorian smirked and Rosemary shook her head. It was good to be home at least. 

They stepped into the warm light of the hall and she looked around, curious about what nobles were hanging around Skyhold at the moment. A few of them noticed their arrival and nodded a hello, but it was who wasn’t there who ended up drawing her attention. Before she left, the nobles had a habit of avoiding the fireplace almost entirely. It was well established that the table there was Varric’s favorite spot to work and he was known for putting them in their supposed places if they bothered him when he was in the middle of something. 

Which made it all the more bizarre that there was a noble couple lounging at the table, and another man warming his hands at the fire. They were all relaxed and chatting away happily, not even displaying a moment of nervousness that Varric might come give them a hard time.

Leliana interrupted her thoughts. “If you recall from my letters, Varric has taken to working in the tavern. Something about it being quieter. Quieter, in the tavern. If you ask me, there’s something going on.”

“Leliana, I…” Rosemary paused and made a face. “If you will excuse me.” She spun on her heels, ignoring the creak of Josephine’s door and the person calling after her as she hurried back out and down the stone steps. At the bottom, she barely had time to round the wall of the staircase and get out of the way before doubling over and letting it out.

A warm hand rested on her neck and gathered her hair, holding it out of the way for her. Another hand rubbed her back in an awkward attempt to be comforting. When the sickness had passed, she took a couple of deep breaths and the familiar presence backed off to give her personal space. She wiped her mouth and muttered her thanks. “Inquisitor, are you unwell?”

She chuckled weakly, throat raw, as she met his concerned eyes. “My dear Commander, I don’t know what would have possessed you to think such a thing.”

“Right, of course.” He shifted in awkwardness, rubbing the back of his neck. “My apologizes, I shouldn’t have…”

“Cullen! I was joking.” She couldn’t help at the almost confusion on his face before smiling and setting her hand on his arm. “Thank you for, um, coming to my aid.”

Cullen’s tense posture relaxed a little. “I don’t think I did nearly enough to earn your gratitude.”

“Now, Commander, you’re being too modest.” Internally she wondered at the oddness of the moment, chatting next to a small pool of vomit as if it were an everyday occurrence. Was it for him? She suddenly realized she had no idea what his life was like day to day when she was gone, maybe he really did see a lot of the men get sick. She wondered if she would ever get used to seeing the sick.

His eyebrows scrunched together slightly. “You’re making fun of me.”

“I’m teasing you, there’s a difference.” 

“Inquisitor….”

“Rosemary, remember? Or Lavellan if that’s too hard.”

“Yes… Rosemary, you should consider stopping at the kitchens for some water before returning to the war room. I can distract Josephine until you return. Your health is important.”

“Thanks, I think I’ll do that.” She smiles and gave him a slight wave before heading down into the lower courtyard. Luckily, the crowd that had been there only a few moments before had grown bored and had dispersed into smaller conversations or returned to their duties. That made it much easier to avoid being stopped to talk as she slipped up the stairs to the kitchen and turned to ease the door shut as to not disturb the quiet.

The kitchens were one of her favorite places in the castle when she was stuck in Skyhold for long periods of time. Mainly because the cook let her sit and help with the cooking if she was avoiding Josephine or one of the others. Not anything big, but she knew how to cut vegetables well enough and it took some pressure off the serving girls once in awhile. 

The warm smells of herbs and the fire grounded her as she set her forehead against the cool wood of the door. Cullen had been right, water did sound nice, but so did just staying here for a moment, resting in the warm familiar. There was a quiet rustle, the sound of someone setting something down on one of the tables, and she turned to ask the cook if she could steal a cup of water from the pitcher. “Shit.”

“Uh” Varric’s hand stilled, a roll half devoured. In front of him was a plate of little things he must have gathered from some of the kitchen stores. Bits of cheese, some of the less pretty fruit, dried beef, and the like. He and his plate were settled by the fireplace, slouched in a chair and comfortable from what it would seem. “Yeah, shit, I guess.”

“Where’s the cook?” She’d tensed up, her arms crossed over her chest, and it crossed her mind that she could be sick again at any moment. 

“Same place she’s been at this time for a month… “ Varric took a bite of his roll. “Not that you’d know.”

“Well…” She tried to relax, forced her arms to lay at her sides. They practically ached with the need to cross them again, to protect herself. “Someone has to do the dirty work, right? Thedas isn’t going to save itself.”

“I should have been on that trip and you know it.” His eyes narrowed. “You needed me out there.”

“Cole did fine, he was very helpful.”

“Who was more helpful, I wonder. Cole or Dorian? Or maybe Iron Bull?” He took a drink, never broke eye contact with her.

“What are you implying?” She knew. Oh did she know.

“Nothing, nothing.” His eyebrows lifted. “There may be a few rumors going round. You know how it is. One of Leliana’s little birds swears they saw you come out of Dorian’s tent, and suddenly the whole Inquisition’s talking. Funny, I know. The blessed Inquisitor falling into bed with one of her trusted advisors. Perish the thought.”

Yes, there it was, she was definitely going to be sick. A minute, maybe two tops. “Alright, you’ve had your fun. I’ve had enough. I just came for some bread and water. It’s been a long journey. But I will just come back later.” She opened the door and it was firmly shut again in her face. Varric’s hand held it closed. 

She watched the hand, memorized it, refusing to look at his face. Quieter, unsure if it was smart to even keep talking at this point, she sighed. “I didn’t come to you. You came to my room. I’ll bet you don’t even remember that night. I do. Every moment of it. I had waited…” She paused to collect herself. “I had waited for so long, had so many dreams… “

“Rosemary-”

“And then, you have the audacity to blame me. To push all of your bizarre guilt on me. And to accuse me of sleeping with other men, after you made it very clear how little you cared. Even if it were true, it wouldn’t be any business of yours anymore.”

“Damn straight, it’s my business. You’re mine.” His voice growled, closer than before. She knew what would happen if she faced him now. She knew they would get caught up in a moment of heat. He would claim her, and when the moment was over he would make her regret it. She knew that. Her heart wished to anyway.

“You have no idea how long I’ve wished for you to say that…” Deep breath, steady. “But it’s too late. You aren’t what I need. I know that now. You would mean it now, but when your head's clear things will be different. I don’t need that now.”

“What do you think you need then?” He didn’t budge.

She took another deep breath, just the smell of him so close did things to her she wouldn’t dare to admit. A little pebble of uncertainty crept in. Why couldn’t he be what she needed? No… she had to be rational. “Stability.” 

“Stability.”

“Look, you’ve said so yourself, Varric. My life is bat shit crazy. Bless the Maker, is stability such a strange thing to crave?”

“Well, I…”

“I need stability. In the middle of all this… chaos, I need people who don’t change their minds every few minutes. We’re great friends, even stable friends. Let’s be friends…” She glanced at his eyes and when she saw that he was still trying to formulate an argument, she turned again and instead went to the other door, disappearing into the fortress.

Varric cursed and pounded his fist on the door lightly. “Every damn time, nice going.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! Please let me know what you thought!
> 
> Varric should probably be back to his witty self next chapter if I can do it justice :)


	5. Stonewalled

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Between dresses and dancing, is there even any time for Rosemary to figure out what's going on with Varric now? Luckily a friend is there to lend a hand as always

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HI, Oh my goodness I am so sorry to like literally everyone. I won't lie, I don't have any excuses. I simply never got around to writing the next chapter and by time I remembered, I was worried I wouldn't know how to pick up.
> 
> 1) I hope these characters are still canon personalities, I'm playing the game again for the first time in literally months as soon as I post this chapter, so here's hoping!
> 
> 2) Hawke is probably way off, I've honestly never played the second game. And since my save file from the first game is corrupted for some reason *gives computer a look* it might be a long while before I get to it.
> 
> 3) Oh my goodness, all of your reviews and support have honestly been the #1 reason I decided to give this story my focus again, thank you so much!!!

“Let’s be reasonable.” Rosemary raised her eyebrows and examined the gowns Josephine had littered her office with. They all looked the same to her, the same silhouette, just in every different color and pattern she could think of. “We only just arrived. Surely this is a decision that can wait until morning.”

Josephine gave a long-suffering sigh and set down her quill. “Inquisitor, I assure you, if we could wait we would. However, if the seamstress is to have any chance to have alterations done, we simply must decide now.”

“Alright,” Rosemary glanced at the colorful fabrics again before looking to Dorian for help. “There are so many, I wouldn’t even know where to begin.”

Leliana spoke up before he could. “We should go for something that may blend well with the dress uniforms the rest of us will be wearing. It would not do for the Empress’ first impression of us to be that we are not cohesive.”

“Not red though.” Dorian agreed. “Red is going to wash her right out. The blues and golds though…”

Rosemary gave Josephine a look. “Everybody else has a uniform?” 

“Naturally.” Josephine nodded and checked her notes. “Fitted pants and dress coat, you will know who belongs with us from a distance.”

 

“Great, I’m wearing one of those then.”

“Inquisitor!”

“Josephine, I’m simply not comfortable in these layers of heavy fabric. What if there is a need to fight?”

 

“There will not be a fight, you must avoid causing a scene.”

Dorian cleared his throat. “Rosemary… as much as I adore your utter fear of anything even remotely flattering. A fitted suit is not going to work well for… a woman such as yourself.”

“Excuse me?” Her arms crossed as she waited for the sexism she’d been waiting for since she arrived. They weren’t going to let her wear the uniform now because she was a woman, but it was fine for her to be their martyr as a woman?

“Would you like me to spell it out for you?” Dorian would have continued further had he not caught sight of the others and remembered they were not alone. “Forgive me, ladies, I believe the Inquisitor and I need to step out for a moment.”

“No.” Leliana crossed her arms much like Rosemary had, whether intentional or not. “You are going to stay here and there will not be secrets.”

“Oh that’s rich coming from you.” Dorian grabbed Rosemary’s hand and pulled her from the room into the small hallway, his grip loosening the moment the door shut. “Sorry, I needed to make it look convincing. Tell her I pulled you out to rail at you about etiquette or fashion or what have you, but you do not want to have this conversation in front of them.”

“Don’t ever handle me like that, Dorian. Or next time I’ll burn your mustache off.”

“You wound me. But we haven’t got much time. You simply cannot wear the uniform. Take this opportunity to think it through.”

“Why can’t I? Cassandra will be wearing one no doubt, Leliana will be wearing one. If it’s for solidarity, you know Josephine will be in one-.”

“And if they tailor a suit to fit you now it won’t fit in a few weeks. And if they wait and tailor it later, Josephine’s going to absolutely murder you for anything you don’t want to show anyone.” He gave her stomach an obvious glance before knocking on the door where Josephine gave a squeak from right on the other side.

“Oh…” Rosemary’s eyebrows furrowed but no solutions came to mind. “Maybe I should stay here and Josephine or Cullen can speak for the Inquisition.”

“Absolutely not. You’re going to this party with me, love.” Dorian chuckles and ruffled her messed up hair a bit before making a face at the dirtiness. “And you still need your bath.”

“Tell them that.”

“Here’s what we do. Go in there, tell them you’ll wear any dress that doesn’t need a tight corset. Preferably one of those horrible orlesian ones where the bodice goes past the bottom of the stomach.”

Rosemary wrapped her arms around him in a hug. “I don’t know what this Inquisition would do without you, Dorian. Or more importantly, what I’d do without you.”

“Yes, well make sure you tell everyone exactly how important to you I was when they start leaving the Tevinter out of the history books. Now in you go.” He opened the door and gave her a light push inside before shaking his head. If they got through the winter palace without causing a scandal, it would be only by the Maker’s blessing. 

 

Several hours later, after she had bathed and gone down for dinner, she was sitting on the wall in the courtyard. The cool air settled her nerves as she watched the bonfire down below. Some of the wounded were swapping stories, their voices just barely audible above the crackling of the wood. Everyone else by now was settled into the tavern or their rooms, warm and unwinding from the day. Her traveling companions would all be huddled around a table right now, complaining about the trip and sinking into any free drinks they can talk people into. Well, Cole probably wouldn’t, but he’d be there nonetheless to listen and to learn.

“Hey you, ain’t ya gonna have any fun at all? Or’d that dragon rip my friend outta you.” Sera’s legs swung over the wall as she sat next to her and stretched, cracking as many joints as she could manage. “You know how this works. We, or I guess you, come back and drink until we pass out. Or until I pass out.” She made a face. “Nevermind, you’re always dull.”

Rosemary looked at her, leaned against her arm a little. “I thought you’d decided you were mad at me.”

“Yeah well, you didn’t die, yeah? So no harm no foul I guess. But don’t do it again!”

“Which? Leave or not bring you with?”

“Um, both, duh.” Sera swung her legs a bit, tapping her heels against the wall. “I came to be part of the action. I don’t do well trapped with Leliana and her knifey knifes all the time.”

Rosemary laughed. “You might reconsider. Unless something dire happens, Josephine’s not letting me out of here until we head for the Winter Palace. And now, you’ll have to go.”

Sera’s eyes widen. “No, no way am I spending time talking up some Lord or Lady Fancybits. I’ll stay right here and let Leliana practice torture tricks on me.”

With a grin, Rosemary wrapped an arm around her. “Sorry, Sera, Leliana’s going too. You’re just going to have to come and get me through it.”

“But I don’t even know how to do all that swishy circle dancing they think is so great. Like nodding to the music and swaying is gonna get me kicked out, so why bother, right?”

“Well, we’ll just have to learn together then. I’m sure there’ll be lessons.”

A voice cleared it’s throat from behind them and Rosemary turned to eye Hawke. He just watched them for a moment before shrugging a little. “Sorry, this seems to be the only sober party happening at the moment.”

“Not for a lack of trying,” Sera rolled her eyes. “Why can’t you heros just be normal?”

Hawke smirked a bit and set his staff off to the side. “My drinking buddy is too busy sulking around the corridors. He gets like that. So, lessons for what?”

“Dancing.” Rosemary paused while Sera made a gagging noise. “Neither of us know how to dance like Orlesian nobles. Sera because she’s Sera, and I’m Dalish.”

“Oh, is that it?” Hawke holds out a hand. “Let’s learn then.”

Sera gagged again and sneered. “Here? Like instead of getting our drink on you want to sway around like a bunch of pansies?”

Rosemary watched his hand before looking at his eyes. It was so hard to believe that this man had been on the brink of laughed and took his hand, standing. “Alright, I can’t see why not. You wanted to celebrate my return anyway, Sera.”

“Not by dancing. Dancing is for people with nothing better to do.” 

Things may have spiralled out of control from there. Sera, as much as she outwardly hated the idea, was not going to leave them to entertain themselves. It was because of this that the Inquisitor found herself knocking on Cullen’s door in search of another dance partner. “Commander?”

“Inqui… Rosemary, good evening.” Cullen was hunched at his desk, straining to read something in the candlelight. “What can I do for you?”

She shifted, eying the pile on his desk. “Nevermind, you look busy. Maybe another time…”

“No, this is nothing, really. It can wait.” Cullen set his work down and stood, approaching the door way. “You came for something.”

“Oh, I just… Hawke is teaching me and Sera how to dance. And we were wondering if you’d like to be someone’s partner. But, clearly you’re busy so I’ll just-”

“I think I can spare an hour or two . If I wouldn’t be intruding.” Cullen rubbed at his neck and Rosemary chuckled, opening the door for him. 

Unfortunately their quiet dance lesson became a spectacle not even ten minutes later when Sera demanded they couldn’t even attempt it without some kind of music. Next thing they knew, the poor bard had been dragged out to play for them, and following her were almost a dozen curious onlookers. Rosemary got redder and redder with every misstep, her every move being carefully watched. 

Hawke tried to help her forget the eyes, making a couple of jokes about the way Sera and Cullen looked. However, his attempts were overshadowed by the giggles from behind her the sixth or seventh time she’d stomped on his foot. “I’m sorry, I can’t do this. Not out here.”

There was a chorus of disgruntled mumbling and people shifted. The bard still played, even as Sera practically strangled Cullen for “making her miss a step”. A couple of the Dalish residents were standing off to the side, almost afraid to come and join the mass. For an all inclusive Inquisition, they still had a long way to go to make everyone feel welcome. She reached down and pulled off the boots Josephine insisted she had to wear all over the place and thanked Hawke for the lesson. 

Patting Sera on the head as she walked by her, she whispered a suggestion to the bard and held her hands out to the two Dalish. “Aneth Ara.” The less hesitant of the two stepped forward and took her hand, bowing a little with her. Once the third had joined them and set her hand on top of theirs, they stood and began to slowly walk in a circle, hands linked. As one, they switched hands and moved the other direction, all three of them scanning the people around them. 

As Rosemary broke away, the others were hesitant to do the same. Rosemary held her hand out to Hawke, much how he had done earlier for her. And out of the corner of her eye she noticed the shyer of the two hold out a hand to Cullen, who had absolutely blushed but was a gentleman about it. When the circle rejoined, it was six strong, and then twelve, having pulled a few more people out of the tavern as the noise picked up.

It was then that the music stopped and the clapping began. It took a moment for most of them to pick up the rhythm, but once they all had it, the song picked up again. It was quicker, more jovial, and a look of panic filled the faces of most of the circle as the three led them step by step in a quick pattern. Once they’d gotten that and had begun to relax, they moved off into pairs again, spinning and exchanging partners as the music demanded. Rosemary threw her head back and laughed as the braver of the two women, whom she learned was named Ariane, told her a story of her clan as they danced. 

When they switched partners, she found herself face to face with a still blushing Cullen. She smiled and talked him through the footwork. Once the color in his face had returned to normal, she made a comment about the loveliness of the girl who’d invited him into the circle and nudged him off to switch again. Watching the color return stronger than ever was more worth it than she could have imagined. 

A couple of partners later, she was in the hands of Hawke again. “You seem quite good at this. I’m surprised.”

“Why?” Hawke laughed. “It’s just dancing. Speaking of dancing, Varric makes a rather lousy dance partner doesn’t he.”  
Rosemary tried not to look too startled. “I’m afraid I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Hawke gave her a look. “I see what’s going on between you two. I’ve known him for a long time, he’ll get there. I just wouldn’t be surprised if it was a very long dance, Varric never tells anyone all the steps.”

Now it was her turn to give a look. “This metaphor of yours isn’t holding up very well. I doubt I’d call what he’s doing dancing.”

“Well let’s find out, shall we?” Hawke stepped off to switch partners and she turned to take the hand of Varric, who was trying to pretend this was totally normal.

“He set me up.”

“He does that. Besides, I might have asked him to.” 

“But why?” She spun as the steps indicated, thankful for that solitary second where she didn’t have to be staring into those eyes and wondering what it took to stay in them. 

“Well, asked was a strong word. Ranted until he said he’d fix it. He’s that kind of guy.” Varric watched her, his eyes unreadable. “Rosemary, I owe you an apology.”

“Alright, I’m listening.” She held out her palm and he set his against it, stepping into the moves.

“Look, I swear I am better at words than I have been with you. Andraste’s ass, I’ve charmed diplomats out of their money and a drunk Sera out of not sticking me full of arrows. But I take one look at you and I panic because if I mess up, I mess up big. And then I mess up anyway because, as Cassandra will gladly remind you, I’m a numbskull.”

She took a deep breath and pretended to be preoccupied by the music for a moment while her heart raced. She couldn’t just give in now, no matter how badly her body and heart screamed to. “I haven’t heard an apology in there.”

“You’re right. I shouldn’t have said what I did about you and the others, that was inappropriate. This whole thing has been inappropriate, and I’m sorry for that. However…” He drifted off, pulling her with him just a few steps out of the way so that he didn’t have to share. 

“However?” 

“However, I have something I want to read to you. It is horrible and cheesy, but I wrote it while you were away and. Well… I’ve accepted that what’s going on between us has made me incapable of charming you.”  
“Varric.” Rosemary stopped moving and set her free hand on his shoulder. “You’ve never had a problem charming me. I’ve always been the most charmed by you when you were just yourself.”

Varric shook his head, never taking his eyes off of her. “You don’t want me, not really. You think you do. But when it comes down to it, I’d be in the way. There’d be rumors and my sense of humor gets stale real quick. Oh and I drink. And I do stupid things sometimes when I’ve been drinking. It wouldn’t be appropriate. Not for the Inquisitor.”

“Varric, I’ve never been noble. I’ve only just recently been titled, period. I have literally no concept of what’s appropriate and what isn’t. That’s what Josephine is for, and as far as I care she can stay out of matters of the heart.”

His eyes narrowed slightly, watching for the words beyond the ones she was saying. “Is this something you want, Inquisitor?”

“Don’t call me that, not now.” When did he get so close, and had his chest hair always reflected the moonlight like that? Was she blushing? “I’m saying I’m willing to try if you are.”

And next thing she knew, there was a hand behind her neck, tugging her head down a bit for a hesitant, unsure kiss. She moved her hand from his shoulder to his cheek and melted into it. The dancing around them could have stopped entirely and she’d have never noticed. Had he always tasted like ale and cinders from the fires he liked to work by? Or smelled faintly of parchment? For the first time since this whole mess began she remembered why it was Varric she had wanted. He fit so perfectly in this moment, like she’d daydreamed so long ago he would. 

When they pulled back for air Varric gave a sheepish smile and bowed a little. “I needed to try it at least once sober. Until tomorrow, Inquisitor.”

And there he left her dumbfounded in the middle of an impromptu dance floor and disappeared back into the tavern. She opened her hand and stroked the tiny pebble he’d left there. What kind of mess had she gotten herself into and did this even change anything now?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed it, please review and let me know what you thought! <3 thank you all for your patience

**Author's Note:**

> Reviews appreciated :) Will be updated as often as I can


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